From Vulnerability to Strength: How Leaders Build Trust by Showing Their Human Side

Introduction: The Misunderstood Concept of Vulnerability

If you ask ten leaders what the word vulnerability means, chances are that most will give answers colored by discomfort. For many, vulnerability conjures up images of weakness, uncertainty, or even failure. Leaders are often conditioned to be the ones who hold it all together—to be confident, decisive, and in control.

But here’s the paradox: the leaders who have had the greatest impact on us are rarely the ones who projected an image of invincibility. They are the ones who allowed us to see their humanity. They admitted when they didn’t have all the answers. They shared their fears and hopes. They showed us that strength isn’t about wearing armor—it’s about being real.

I still remember a moment in my own career when I was standing at a crossroads, feeling exposed and unsure about the path forward. Admitting that uncertainty to my team felt terrifying at the time. Yet the response I received was not judgment—it was connection. Instead of eroding trust, my vulnerability deepened it. That moment planted a seed: vulnerability, far from being a liability, can be one of a leader’s greatest resources.

Why Vulnerability Matters in Leadership

Traditional leadership models often reward performance without cracks: being decisive, logical, and in control at all times. For decades, this archetype worked—or at least appeared to. But in today’s world of constant change, complexity, and ambiguity, the illusion of invulnerability no longer serves us.

Why? Because people don’t follow perfect leaders. They follow human leaders.

When leaders dare to be vulnerable, they:

• Create trust. Vulnerability signals authenticity. When people sense you’re real, they can trust you.

• Foster connection. A shared human moment—a leader admitting, “I don’t know, but let’s figure it out together”—creates stronger bonds than polished speeches ever could.

• Encourage openness. When leaders model imperfection, they give permission for others to bring their whole selves to work.

Secure Base Leadership, one of the frameworks I often use, talks about “Care, Dare, and Share.” To care is to show warmth. To dare is to challenge people to stretch. And to share is to bring your own humanity into the relationship. That last part—sharing—requires vulnerability. It’s what transforms leadership from transactional to transformational.

The Paradox: Vulnerability as Strength

The paradox is striking: by showing our “weakness,” we actually demonstrate strength.

Think about it. Which requires more courage: pretending to have all the answers, or admitting that you don’t? Which leaves a deeper impression: a flawless performance, or an honest acknowledgment of failure followed by learning?

Here are some examples of how vulnerability shows up as strength:

• In times of crisis. When a leader says, “I don’t know how this will unfold, but I promise to navigate it with you,” people feel seen and included.

• In moments of feedback. A manager who says, “I need your perspective, because I might be missing something,” demonstrates humility and openness.

• In coaching. When a coach shares a personal story of struggle—not to shift the spotlight, but to connect—it makes the space feel safer for the client to open up.

Vulnerability is not fragility. It’s not about oversharing, collapsing under pressure, or making everything about emotions. Vulnerability is about being grounded enough to be real. It’s the opposite of hiding behind a mask.

Practical Ways Leaders Can Practice Vulnerability

The question many leaders ask is: How much is too much? Vulnerability is not about emotional dumping or making others carry your burden. It’s about intentional openness that fosters trust and connection.

Here are some practical ways leaders can cultivate healthy vulnerability:

1. Admit mistakes openly. When you make a misstep, name it. Frame it as learning, not failure. “I got this wrong. Here’s what I learned, and here’s how we’ll adjust.”

2. Ask for feedback. This is one of the most vulnerable—and powerful—acts a leader can take. “What’s one thing I could do differently that would help you succeed?”

3. Share personal stories. Not every detail, but enough to show your human side. For instance: “I know how hard uncertainty feels. I’ve been there myself.”

4. Name emotions consciously. Instead of saying, “Everything’s fine,” try: “I feel concerned about this change, but I also feel hopeful. Both are true.”

5. Model balance. Show that you’re human by talking about the small rituals that keep you grounded—whether it’s a run with your dog, meditation, or family dinners.

These actions don’t weaken authority; they strengthen it. They signal that you are confident enough in yourself to show up as you truly are.

The Ripple Effect of Vulnerability

The impact of vulnerable leadership extends far beyond the individual. It changes the culture of entire teams and organizations.

• Psychological safety grows. When people see their leader taking off the mask, they feel permission to do the same. This is the foundation of trust and creativity.

• Innovation flourishes. Vulnerability creates space for imperfect, half-formed ideas—the raw material for innovation.

• Relationships deepen. Teams stop relating to each other only as roles and start relating as people.

• Resilience increases. When setbacks happen, people bounce back faster if openness and honesty are already part of the culture.

I’ve seen this ripple effect again and again in coaching conversations. The moment a leader leans into vulnerability, their team shifts. They become more courageous, more collaborative, and more committed—not in spite of the leader’s humanity, but because of it.

Conclusion: A Call to Courage

Vulnerability will never be the easiest path. It asks us to lower our defenses, to risk being misunderstood, and to resist the urge to perform perfection. But it is precisely this choice—the choice of courage—that makes vulnerability a leadership superpower.

True leadership is not about having all the answers, but about creating the conditions where people can thrive together. It’s not about hiding flaws, but about modeling the courage to be real.

The next time you’re tempted to put on the mask of invulnerability, pause and ask yourself:

“What would it look like if I showed up fully human right now?”

Chances are, the result won’t be weakness. It will be deeper trust, stronger relationships, and a kind of leadership that endures.

Because at the end of the day, people don’t follow perfection. They follow people.